16 7 / 2014
- 1: i'm looking over the plans
- 2: yeah
- 1: what's this weird series of rooms accessible only by a hatch in a room on the right hand side of the third floor corridor
- 2: oh that's for if we ever need to hide a priceless artifact for some reason
- 1: why would we hide a priceless artifact in a school
- 2: safest place
- 1: fucking is it though?? there's a giant snake somewhere
- [in the distance]
- 3: there's no snake you are wrong stop being wrong
15 7 / 2014
GUEST: We’re interested in 2 tickets to a Broadway show tonight. Either Mamma Mia or Rock of Ages. Which would you recommend?
CONCIERGE: Well, that probably depends on the music you prefer. Rock of Ages is going to be 80s rock like Journey and Styx. They encourage you to be drinking in your seats and raising a lighter in the air. Mamma Mia is, of course, the music of Abba.
GUEST 2: Yeah. We hate Abba.
CONCIERGE: Then you should probably do Rock of Ages.
(Guests fidget uncomfortably.)
GUEST: Well, the problem is that we’re Swedish.
GUEST 2: So, we have to see Mamma Mia.
CONCIERGE: Well, if you don’t like Abba, I’m not sure you’ll like Mamma Mia.
GUEST 2: I just don’t think we can go back and tell people we didn’t see Mamma Mia on Broadway.
(Guest 1 nods slowly.)
GUEST 1: I guess we’ll take 2.
CONCIERGE: There are other shows I can recommend. You don’t have to see Mamma Mia.
GUEST 2: Mamma Mia is fine.
(Guest 1 sadly hands me a credit card.)
30 6 / 2014
"And God said “Love Your Enemy,” and I obeyed him and loved myself."